Truth doesn't remove doubt

Living in New Mexico the majority of my life I rarely understood or considered my ethnic privilege. Similar to white privilege, the Spanish exploration and decimation of many cultures in the pursuit of expanding Catholicism and commerce established mestizo communities that for many years functioned like a privileged and dominant force. It isn't well publicized how the Spanish rampaged through North America. The allure of the Catholic churches camouflages the elitist qualities that seem to have found its way here. I finally have embraced my "white privilege".  The Spaniard in me.  It is confusing for me because Anglo American's Old Money privilege has replaced the Spanish conquest privilege.  I no longer feel the full capacity of privilege.
 

I celebrate the Birthday of a hero today.  Rigoberta Menchu, a Mayan woman who endured the Guatemalan civil war, with a passion to tell the truth.  The story of Che Guevara helped me discover the truths behind the Guatemalan civil war.  The truth that brown people, jente, and raza could hold that same greedy characteristics as the Roosevelt's,  Rockefellers, and Simms (of Albuquerque).  I see that these wealthy families see money and ownership as success, where to me it looks like greed.  They see their excesses and convenience as accomplishments, where to me it seems like gluttonous luxury.  They see their impact as contribution instead of intrusion.  I could go on, but regardless I found brown privilege in my reflection for the first time in my life.

Despite thriving in a region surrounded by neglected pueblo and Indian communities, I grew to function like a victim.  My journeys to Guatemala changed that.  Rigoberta's book and story helped me realize my blessings and the shadow quality of them. These shadows I call privilege.  Privilege is the darker side of a blessing.  The civil war in Guatemala has not been publicized to the world because it shows the darker American dreams.  It shows that a little truth, like a valid tiny communist presence in Guatemala, could be enough reason for wealthy Dulles brothers to capitalize on their privilege, instigating war.  This allowed for brown privilege to inspire ideology and fear.  The results were a well trained and convinced army that eliminated thousands of innocent people.  I believe in a responsibility that comes with being blessed and it is to be humble, modest, and dignified.  I pray that fairness find its roots in Guatemala, and not from the perspective of the privileged.

This Ted talk synchronously released near Rigoberta's birthday is magical.  It helps me bring to mind my own ancestors, my contributions to Burque (Albuquerque), and how I can minimize the darker side of my blessings.