On my favorite holiday, I’d like to revisit some words from Saint King Jr. Without getting into the details or context of this prompt, let me answer his simple question. What is my life’s blueprint? I have years of contemplation. I have sat with plenty of emotions to stir the heart and force me to consider my constitution. So as much as I want to get lost in this question I am going to try and keep it simple.
When building a structure most projects begin with a design. The analogy implies we start life with a plan. And I didn’t, that I know of. The vision of my structure changes frequently. My blueprint is not a design of what I hope my life can be, but who I have maintained to be.
Who I am maintaining is respectful of who I have been and who I still have an opportunity to shape. The three core principles Dr King Jr mentions are belief in self, excellence through achievement, and being beautiful. I cannot say that these qualities have always been apart of my design. At times I have not had any of these. These times are rare. A majority of my life has been holding some of these in scope, and when the spirit finds me, I have all three.
I am worthy of kindness. I have learned to add self-valuation slowly. I grew it out of a desperation to be extraordinary, with the paradoxical balance of knowing I can disappear. I know the unit of measure here is dignity. When I think about this quality in terms of who I am, I think it is in believing that I am worthy of kindness. I think understanding that my appearance might default stereotypically as brown and suspicious; more as a young adult. Now as I grey, I feel it is tapering and I might be seen more as older. I have a history of vetting perceptions. I have learned to function out of a self-concept that forces me to minimize comparison and rely on competency. I don’t necessarily shine, but I am durable. I am not invincible, but I will often be impactful.
I would like to thank Dr King for helping me to appreciate, once again, the need to achieve. After an early childhood rooted in aspiration and accolades, in middle adulthood I resisted greatness. I thought this was a vice. I can now reframe the idea of achievement as a dignified excellence. I have a grounding in a family filled with athletes who taught me to practice. I had a grandpa who said, “measure 2 times, and cut once.” When impatient he would bark with a New Mexican accent, “Do it right, or don’t do it all”. Practice helped me understand that being good is only a doorway, stepping into the room and finding the next entrance is diligence. Practice means learning something so that it can be repeated with quality. I don’t mix in aspirations or trophies with this understanding of achievement . I think I measure my experiences with the unit of measure of dignity. The accomplishment is what Dr king might describe as the beauty in my soul. My blueprint helps me have an endearing appearance, or how I have learned to see my soul. I don’t check my status as a human, and this helps me practice the first quality and have self-belief.
My faith has engrained a communal orientation. My blueprint is for building a person that must contribute to the greater good of all. This is key piece to my blueprint. Dr King frames this as being beautiful. Throughout my life I had the Catholic voices of the profound in my minds ear. This is a call to sow beauty. Since the unit of measure is dignity, beauty is not aesthetic, it is nutritious. The façade is unnecessary, in favor of a soul that inspires. I was raised in a family that treated me as beautiful. This allows me to understand how I can steward others.
I am under construction. I am still a work in progress. I am remembering that during the project I must take my eye off the prize and look at the blueprints.
