Music and More

Listening

In my world I am taught to find the answers. In my daily routine I am asked to seek out solutions to problems. I think in listening to my mind, body, and spirit, I have herd the noise that people create while solving problems. Now in listening to the problems I see how some create disruption so that they have a problem to solve. In becoming even more quiet I am sensing that solutions are also looking for me. My problems are simply the beacon of light directing a solution home. Am I building problems for the thrill of receiving solutions, or am I seeking problems so that solutions are not roaming wastefully.

Each solution that captures me is a milestone in my map that is guiding me to heaven. Each problem is a riddle that can either be solved, ignored, or accepted. The direction I am going gets more fun with every problem.

What is it to be a Warrior?

This question was recently asked of me.

I'll start with representing it the only way I've ever known it.

it is stepping out of the child's mind, saying goodbye to mother and father, and walking alone into space, time, and the direction of old age.
it is embodying the will to walk out onto a battle field, away from comforts and convenience, to look across and see death, shake its hand, and know this is a battle I will lose.
it is taking inventory of my qualities, strengths, vulnerabilities, skills, knowledge, and allies, while rationing all of them to keep death on its toes, backing up, or chasing.
it is trusting fear enough to keep me safe, but not respecting it so much that it debilitates me.
in the end, what the fuck do I know what it is to be warrior.

I think a warrior never believes they are a warrior, but maybe just doing what needs to be done in the moment, without consideration for what it is to be a warrior.

I admire the warrior enough to pay attention to their post war message, that says to avoid war at all costs.

we are all warriors....at times.

Vienen

Fortunes

Oye vato, you don't find fortunes of gold lying around on the surface. God reveals specs of dust that cue you where to dig. And I guarantee, it will be hard work, and in most cases painful.

Mi amigo, it gets even worse, because most people think that there is fortune in gold, this is the mystery, the secret is not in the gold but the alchemy. Mira, we apply value and cost to objects that others are willing to find worthy. What most are unwilling to accept is that attitude and ethics are free....alchemy mi amigo. Dicen, its not so much the end but the means.

Carnalito, there are few who are willing to seek out there own fortunes, dig their own mines, find their own worthiness, or share. Hombre, don't steal, don't squat, don't hoard, don't counterfeit, and don't believe that you are any more valuable than before you found gold.

Compa, donate, educate, mentor, respect, and believe God revealed that spec of gold not for you but for the sake of the whole world.

Jefe, some parting words, there are people who think there are fortunes in gold, but i hope you take the path that helps you see it is only a metal. It too can be burned and melted. There are materials that are precious, i hope you dig for them.

Educating the human in me

I am finding that the most existential part of becoming educated is fully coming to terms with the reality that there is so much to be learned and only a lifetime to try and learn it in. I think what this does is create personalities, classes, philosophies, and oddly even injustice or insecurity.

The more I see how people make decisions, I can see how one might believe that natural selection is real. How can it not be as we see urban cultures starving rural environments. There are times in life when the fittest will survive, and there are times in life when people can live completely with altruistic intent. I can see how a Mother Theresa adds a remedy to the Darwinian attitude by suggesting that there are people who serve the inferior. There is no natural law or science that eliminates the possibility of either theory, leaving me to believe we can't live in one or even a dual mindset absolutely. There is a dependence on circumstance, evidence, curiosity, and emotion that leaves an infinite trail in an unknown number of directions. Victor Frankl expresses this non dual way of believing by describing how we are far more than our genetics, we are far more than our actions, we are completely human in that individually we have an ability to chose our attitude, and this is the direction one continues on when traversing life's infinite existence.

I have never felt more aware in my life. I expect to reach a phase when even this awareness will progress to a new stage of confusion. I think about how I once woke every morning to software problems to be solved, algorithms to discover, and statuses to be achieved, now I am on the outskirts of this mainstream human whirlwind of achievement. Now I am working towards appreciating my garbage man, my immigrant labor (legal and illegal), our recovering addicts, my teacher, my patterns, emptiness, where my food is grown, where I shop, my time with people, and the purpose of money.

Immigrating Without Borders

      I immigrated from Albuquerque’s city life to a quieter Santa Fe.  Santa Fe is 50 some odd miles north of Albuquerque along the Camino ...