Smoothing Out the Angst...

I left facebook for three reasons.
1) The superficiality of being virtually connected, and the false sense of belonging that it created in me
2) The idea behind Facebook going public to harvest peoples interests and supply marketing and industry exploiters with the necessary information to propagate their consuming mentality and culture
3) I feel the depth I am willing to share with my friends is not reciprocated in the form of vulnerability, interest, and passion. I was discouraged by the lack of depth and connection people are willing to achieve with Facebook. As if we as a community are unwilling to be our embarrassing selves by conforming and at the expense of what mainstream media finds attractive, chingon, or worthy.

I retreated because I don't by into it. I am embarrassing, and I am proud to say stupid shit every now and again. I know I am offensive. I also know I am loving, kind, thoughtful, and my intentions are not only to let my daughters know who I am, but now to also let you know who I am. I wish the same anxiety for everyone of you because some collective instinct tells me we share in this existential crisis. I am glad to see all your shining faces, but please don't be afraid to share your deeper faces.

I am returning to the point where I can have perspective. I am a recovering cynic, and daily I have to remind myself that there is so much good in the world that despite what I hear, see, and worry about, life has a way of self correcting. I have a feeling of acceptance this week . I am accepting the fact that people change but not on the account of others reactions, arguments, or discoveries.

I changed because of an internal and intrinsic alchemy. What has been produced is a vision for comparison. I no longer am attached to my ideas but to the understanding that all ideas are worthy of understanding, not necessarily belief, but surely understanding. In this view of "understanding all ideas", I still account for health, truth, and validity. This is achieved by effort in understanding, in me, for me, and of me. I can only then integrate ideas that withstand the test of health, truth, and validity. Otherwise I am left conspiring and mistrusting the unknown.