The greatest sin might be...

Refusing to be loved.  It has been easy to look for love, speak of love and write about it.  The most difficult aspect to love might be receiving it.  I spent a lot of time on this blog idealizing about loving, but recently I have found that its just as important to receive love.  It might even be the greatest sin to reject it, disregard it, and take it for granted.  I have found that in all my work to learn to love I have ignored the importance of accepting, appreciating, and recognizing being loved.  In my love experiences I have been conceited.  I have been arrogant.  I have been foolish.  And I have been careless with the gift of love given to me.  Thinking more about my shortcomings, it is hard recognizing that I can be such an advocate for love, but hypocritically deny it in many ways.  The hot steaming pile of empathy, has helped me see that reciprocity is critical to love to.  Love needs love to be sustainable.  I am a man who does not hold love in a symmetrical way.

To those who have tried their hardest to love me, despite this offering being too late, too little and possibly never received, I thank you.  Needing to be forgiven and potentially never receiving it, might be the best empathy.  Please forgive me for all the ways in which tenderness, opinion, ideas, offerings, time, emotions, and requests can be rejected.  To speak of love and not be experienced in it is foolish of me.  Not all curanderos workbenches would allow for such stupidity, I hope this one does.