Social Grace

It is my dream to vindicate my mother and father of their shortcomings, by embracing the wounds they have given me. It is in these wounds that I can investigate the criminality, motive, and irrationality of their behaviors, actions, and words. I can then build an image of what is not there. The void will be the workbench for what is longed for, my creativity, and forgiveness. It is incomplete to only remind myself of my parents greatness, because their greatness is the part of my expression that will perpetuate consciously, their injustices will perpetuate unconsciously, if left unattended. Life is a creative experience...or not.

Learn for balance not success

Lets make Education a framework for culture...not success.  We learn long before we are educated and when we are educated we slowly also begin to unlearn.  If schools are about success then where do we learn about failure. 

Watch Middle School Moment on PBS. See more from FRONTLINE.

Jealousy

When I stop being excited for those I love, I have found my shadow.  When I compare myself to others, I have fallen into sadness.  It is here that I can befriend my shadow.  It is here where my shadow shines.  It is in jealousy and comparison where my shadow is willing to be vulnerable.

Principled Violence

Wishing a Happy Birthday to a great example of principle.  We can be species of desire, greed, gluttony, fear, convenience, glamor, comfort, vanity, pride, perversion, exploitation, and hate.  When we refuse to acknowledge or deny these shadow qualities I think we move further into violent imbalance, as opposed to violent balance.  A simple analogy of the balance of violence would be to picture a man angrily striking another man with his fist.  This is unbalanced violence.  Balanced violence would be a strike to that man's wrist, intercepting the inbound fist, to avoid being pummeled.  Non violence has shadow qualities too, self doubt, frailty, hesitation, shame, cowardice, victimization, fright, ignorance, and passivity.  I think it has been unhealthy for me to deny my violent nature.  I am more hostile when I deny the qualities of my inner warrior.  There is a shadow for the warrior and a shadow for the pacifist.  It is not a measure of what is good or bad, but a measure of balance.
I'd like to recognize how the little bit that I know about Mandela has demonstrated a good picture of what it is to be violent and yet in balance. It makes little sense to see the violence in destroy hate. It is beautiful and sad for hate. Mandela seems to have a healthy compassion for hate, a respect that gives paradox to the concept of having love for hate. It may be that balanced violence is not to overcome but to untangle misconception.

Tradition

I can't express how happy I am to have two daughters so connected to the concept of service.  I am a difficult man to be around at times.  In keeping with the Shadow theme, I carry a viscous critic around in my head.  My daughters get the brunt of it.  This summer they have quieted that critic.  They have nuzzled up against it and possibly tamed it.  I can't express how grateful I am to be blessed with such loving daughters.  I want my girls to be intelligent, independent, confident, and loving.  I am hard on them, only because I am afraid of what the world might do if I don't lay down a good set of habits.  I want to instill in them a Chicano culture based on tradition, sustainability, respect for elders, and honor for life.  How can I do that other than demonstrate some example of it.  And now I watch as they set the example for me.  So young yet so calm, organized, responsible, and aware.


My daughter Elena has represented herself with grace, elegance, sophistication, and fuerza.  This is my daughter Elena in the video.  She is a princess, a Burquena.  My daughter Veronica is just as spectacular.  She was not videoed or interviewed but she was there and involved.

A special thank you must go out to a woman I love dearly.  Stephanie Heikkinen forwarded me the invite to this program with a message I think Elena and Veronica would like this.

They both wanted to relax all summer and pouted about having to participate.  By the first day they were hooked, often bringing there projects home and into our back yard.  The volunteers and program leaders are special people making special impacts on local youth.  When you look for blessing they reveal themselves.  When you look for joy it hides.  When you become joyful joy pours itself onto you.  There will be fall and then winter, but right now I am enjoying the summer of my daughter's lives.

Catalina Sanchez their mother is another woman I love deeply.  She supported the decision to try this program out.  I think she provided the girls with the spirit of kindness.  I am a happy dad.

The Shadow

    Carl Jung, who is one of my favorite mystics, has helped me understand the psyche's shadow.  I've recently reminded myself how important it is to acknowledge, embrace, and forgive that part of me.  Some describe it as the part of us that helps us survive.  It is the part of us that is often suppressed, oppressed, and devalued.  This forum may be too public to share my shadow, but it is not too public to describe how I encounter it.

    My shadow has many qualities.  It is my vulgar side.  It is tenacious. It is stubborn.  It is enduring.  It is radically shameful.  I see it at times as embarrassing.  Mostly I can see my Shadow when I ponder about things I've done, want to do, or am doing. What follows is usually, "what did, do, and will people think of me".  It is the social awareness that has caused me to suppress behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that through life have had the wildness beaten out or have had thier wings clipped.

    My shadow is also a part of me that can be great.  My shadow can help me be magnificent.  I am working on seeing beyond the shameful and stinky stereotype I have assigned to my shadow.  I am trying to understand it.  I am trying to work with it.  Can those parts of me that have remained in the shadows now be understood enough to involve them in ways that contribute to a healthier Ron?  Fuck Yeah!

Torn but not ragged

Happy Fourth of July all,  Right now I am with two impressive people on our way to climb a 14er.  I am writing this on Tuesday the 3rd.
We ask for God to Bless America.  God blesses all countries but my wish is that we start looking for God's Blessings more than we ask for God's blessings.  I think they are always present.
I am tuned into a term used by my grandmother. Constitution; the physical character of the body as to strength, health, etc. I am grateful for the privilege I have that allows me to develop and cultivate my constitution.  This country allows for human creativity.  This country gives anyone a fighting chance.  This country does not provide equality, but it does not prohibit it.  I love this country, because it allows the beauty of humanity to shine and it moderates the evil that people can reveal.  I love this country because it allows each of us the opportunity to determine for ourselves what is beautiful, evil, or both.  We are a grouping of humans that is softening the ridged experiences of life.  I am proud to be part of an American country.  I am grateful to the lineage of people who have developed, destroyed, and preserved the ability for us to create.  Like other and every country this country is great and I am proud of our struggle and progress.  May God Bless America.  May God Forgive America. Thank you America for Blessing me.