Coward!

For most of my life I have just needed someone to blame. I think a quality of being a man is shouldering more blame than unloading it. Better said, it is taking responsibility for my contribution to the circumstances, and looking for it when it is not obvious.

I am free to be accountable to others, knowing I will fall short of most expectations, but my expectations are selfish and not as diplomatic. That is where blame comes in to play. Others can create circumstances that are unfair. Conveniently it is easier for me to recognize how unfair someone else is before I recognize how unfair I am. My responses thus far have mostly been passively violent. When things don't work to my advantage, I fall back on disappointment, forgetting to find the opportunity in the fallout. I tend to get bogged down in pity, when dignity is ripe for picking. My reactions are usually inspired from fear, and I can see how useful blame becomes. It keeps me from feeling pain or failure. Blame is pain reflected, where sweat and tears symbolize pain transcended.

There are lessons in the communities I live in. I think my family has shown me that responsibility is my gift to culture. I think society teaches me that I can buy my way out of responsibility, but I cannot buy true responsibility. The "both and" is that there is a consequence to every benefit. Finding out how and what responsibility should look like, is living. We are a creative species....when some of us take a break from blaming.