Consideration

Keeping in the spirit of paradox, with my bigotry on ideas and social bigotry on beliefs, I am comforted with the simultaneous existence of consideration. It has been hard for me to teach myself to find the benevolent route. I am starting to recognize the opportunities but too late to capitalize. In fact it is discouraging because so many people who have come into my life try to share their skills in kindness and in the time shared with them I get it. Then life and my environment antagonize my old hostile attitudes. So the characteristic of bigotry and consideration are battling in me. Depending on my environment, wellness, and connections I am susceptible to both.

In my last post I used the term "most", and this caused me to consider its validity. Because I really can't rationalize its use based on my experiences with people, I think it has been supportive or a crutch to the transitions in my maturity. Generalizing some how gives me a sense of reason and satisfaction. There is actually no objective account for bigotry or benevolence. It is like dew in the morning, an aroma but no source, or like a smudge on a lens that is hard to get to. Its there amongst the rest of our qualities.....subjectively revealing itself teasing me to try and objectify it.