Longing

There is a longing, a void to be acknowledged, attended too, and loved.  It is human nature and likely a living quality to be recognized.  In my experience it is the need to be desired, appreciated, and understood.  Likewise there is a more difficult yet important piece to the formula.  In order to be accepted I need to learn to accept.  The concept of reciprocity is a nutrient to the growth of connections between two people.  This is the basis for a friendship.  Acceptance is a quality of understanding and receiving.  Acceptance brings to mind the key principle to most faith based systems, lack of judgment.  This is an area where I can strengthen.  I feel like in my attention to be understood, attended too, and loved, I, more frequently than I'd like to, lose focus on others.  My prayer is to keep in balance and health my ability to love and be loved.

As soon as I move to objectify my need to be desired, I begin to measure it.  As soon as I compare how much attention I have with how much I want or need, I have lost sight of my ability to satisfy  other's needs.  Satisfying the needs of friends and myself is a difficult dance.  It is unfair to believe that I can understand a friend's needs fully.  It is impossible for me to keep constant attention to other's needs.  It is unfair to ignore a friend's signals and cues for longing.  It is unfair to become frustrated with being unable to satisfy a friend's needs.  It is fair to believe that sadness, fear, and confusion can distort how signals and cues communicate that we want to be loved.  This reciprocity dance is easier to learn when listening to music from the heart, and extremely difficult when being distracted by noise from the mind.  I hope we slow down our lives enough to learn these dance steps at an effective tempo.


Dedicated to William Poehner, An active duty warrior of light living in radical grace.  I Love you, I love what you do, you are an amazing source of intellect, strength, and compassion.