Loosing connections to pain

Has tradition been replace by dogma, a hierarchy of needs, or something between? I see how many Americans, including myself, have had to leave their birth cities, their connection to their past, or their connection to their pain. I assume the top reasons for the migration is to find work, better pay, explore, or follow family. Many Americans are adopting a tradition of moving away. I too, felt this was the thing to do. I see now that it disconnects me from learning the history, struggles, and lessons learned from my great uncles, grandparents, and community elders. I see how it deteriorates a family's bond. I see how it corrodes the connection from the pains of the past. It is that source of familial pain, that I see as necessary for me to go beyond the dogma of tradition.

I can see how I learned to be mistrusting. I know now where my anger came from. I can see that my families traditions are being altered, by me and life. I see clearer that I have become independent with hypocritical dependencies. I must risk trusting that things will be alright, knowing I say this often. I feel alright one day and tossed in despair the next. I must trust that I can survive and thrive in any phase, democracy, or climate.....foolishly .... with God's grace.

I think I am aware that I need comfort to be happy. I think as I harden as a man I will be less dependent on laws, conveniences, and luxuries for my content. I might even consider suffering a joyful understanding of the paradox that gives way to death. It is getting too easy to point out hypocrisy in our American politics. It is getting too discouraging when my peers can't recognize it. Or maybe I am just on a fools journey and the joke is on me.

Today as a radical Catholic, a radical believer in Jesus Christ, and a revolutionary wannabe, I see my ego at work and my senses remind me I am only a man, no more, no less.