I think cultural influences are significant, not only from parents,
religion, or pop culture but also from peers. I come from a patriarchal
culture where in some unhealthy cases men look to control and women have
been marginalized. My New Mexican culture, a derivative of the more
general Latino culture, in reflection has a strong power component. I
think for me there is a unhealthy expression of control that has come
from shared cultural attitudes. This is not to generalize about New
Mexican men but to shed light on a tragic reality for me. I think
cultural maturity is a strong influence on what is modeled.
A course I am taking allowed me to encounter sexual dysfunction. I learned that the clinical understanding of dysfunction is liberal. The clinical understanding gets real objective as the disruptions to normalcy get psychologically or physically measurable. This made me think about the more abstract characteristic like attitude.
I think
attitudes towards sex can also be considered dysfunctional, but
attitudes are intangible and difficult to treat. I had a distorted
cultural understanding of sex, in which women were objectified and
treated as accomplishments. I think learning about how to be a good
friend is an appropriate segue to learning to be a healthy intimate
partner, and hopefully by this time a good foundation has been establish
allowing for the same principles to be applied towards the advanced
relationship experiences like commitment and sex. I learned mostly how to be
sexual from guarded conversation with close friends, making adjustments
motivated by insecurity and expectation, never really knowing if what I
was experiencing was normal. I think as the more fundamental
characteristics of myself have matured so have my more advanced
understandings of the opposite sex, the value of sexual intimacy and
sanctity of intentional procreation. I like to reiterate that we are a
species of economics and what we invest in emotionally, psychologically,
resourcefully, and behaviorally is highly influenced by what seems
normal.
Again with disappointment, I realize the only way to treat an attitude might be to start with altering my own.