Man's Struggle...haaa haaa

but through a confident women's perspective. Love is like a river that can flow both ways, up and down stream...can't explain this one yet.

Cloth

my life is an elaborate weaving of colorful threads, that at times flow elegantly. other times the threads knot and tangle. regardless I have created a fabric that in some angles looks pleasing. I have created a fabric that is compromising. my fabric is abrasive in some areas and silky when held just right. because my fabric is sometimes drug through areas that smell pungently it can repulse.

there are times when my fabric has been lofted by winds and stretched across landscapes, making shreds,creases and tear. bulging rain clouds have cleansed my fabric, with their tears, while bleeding pigments from one thread to another.

the fabric I am weaving is mindful of the weaving process. I am becoming aware of how to influence the nature of my patterns, colors, and rhythms. I want my fabric to be versatile. I want it to warm. I want it to shelter. I want it to cleanse. I want it to decorate. I want it to weather.

I expect it to stain. I think it will fade. I dread it being ripped. I know it will erode back into the soils of earth anxiously preparing to be woven again.

a blanket, shawl, rope, flag, or rug, regardless I have become aware that I can be woven and therefor I am a weaver.,,

Ron Valerio Estrada

Sientate, Callate, Escuchate chico!

o te voy a enviar a la oficina del director!

There might be a day when American children will be forced to listen to our history. There might be a day when anglo children will be forced to listen to how great our fore fathers were. But for now, I must carry the burden of two histories, one buried and renamed and one force fed. I must dance with the responsibility of upholding two cultures, one addicted to pain and the other crippled by choices. I must struggle with discerning my acceptance or rejection in both.

See past your bias and into the child

If we take a second look at our lower classes and see past the dysfunction, I think we could recognize a child's eyes. If we looked beyond the physical and into the culture I think we can recognize an underdeveloped child. If we looked beyond the violence and filth, I think we can recognize an abused child. If we looked at our lower classes with a compassion towards the collective I think we could recognize and underdeveloped culture. My longing is to not assign blame, not to trickle down opportunity, not create boot straps, but to be critical in action towards those who blame, delegate, deny, and take advantage. When I look into the eyes of the aspiring tycoon's culture I can see an adolescence's eyes.

In a common family the Adults model for their children, and develop, invest, and care for their children's future. In my family even siblings support and provide for younger siblings. In this country at times it doesn't feel like a family.

Inspired by:

Trailer

Consideration

Keeping in the spirit of paradox, with my bigotry on ideas and social bigotry on beliefs, I am comforted with the simultaneous existence of consideration. It has been hard for me to teach myself to find the benevolent route. I am starting to recognize the opportunities but too late to capitalize. In fact it is discouraging because so many people who have come into my life try to share their skills in kindness and in the time shared with them I get it. Then life and my environment antagonize my old hostile attitudes. So the characteristic of bigotry and consideration are battling in me. Depending on my environment, wellness, and connections I am susceptible to both.

In my last post I used the term "most", and this caused me to consider its validity. Because I really can't rationalize its use based on my experiences with people, I think it has been supportive or a crutch to the transitions in my maturity. Generalizing some how gives me a sense of reason and satisfaction. There is actually no objective account for bigotry or benevolence. It is like dew in the morning, an aroma but no source, or like a smudge on a lens that is hard to get to. Its there amongst the rest of our qualities.....subjectively revealing itself teasing me to try and objectify it.

Che & Pac

There is a bigotry I see in the distribution of ideas. There are ideas that are discouraged, smudged, feared, or ignored. There is a poetic justice that is delivered with the lyrics that come from 2-Pac. There is a invigorating patriotism that I find in Che Guevara's lifestyle. The bigotry is found when trying to make their message mainstream and respected.

I recognize the bigotry as I try and build a bridge between the messages of these men, and the message found in scripture, Poe, Thoreau, Oliver, Niche, Jefferson, Chomsky, Rand, Douglas, Frankle, Dr. King, Horney, Gandhi, Twain, or Cash. The bigotry is not so much racial as it is for dominance. There are too many people who refuse to look in the shadows, preferring to remain in the limelight. There are too many people who prefer short cuts to a thorough journey. There is a bigotry towards sacrifice and a bias for reward. There is a bigotry towards decomposition, whether it is physiological, emotional, or theoretical.

In this post decomposition can be described as breaking down. Most people are judgmental of failure, creating a stigma around failure. It becomes bigotry when one group of people decide what is failure. In America, the dominant culture, this being white European, determines the definition of failure. This has created a subculture of failures, those who don't fit in, or what can be described as perceived failures. The bigotry is a collective idea that there is a right and wrong way of living, feeling, or being. The bigotry is detrimental to the necessity of paradox, causing imbalance.

I see the bigotry manifesting itself in education. I was taught what the dominant culture chose and still chooses to teach. I was taught that I was lessor by my community of Chicano elders by their insecure choices made while facing an immigrant white culture. I continue the bigotry by believing I am lessor and unfortunate, separating myself from the mainstream, and judging lifestyles. The bigotry comes into play when I am entertained, by being overwhelmed with what the dominant culture has chosen to be worthy of publication, and my desire to reject it by seeking out the underground. The bigotry comes into play when I am influenced, by being punished, restricted, rewarded, or deceived, with aspirations molded by the dominant culture. The bigotry of ideas is tainting the learning process and gaining momentum in the educational systems I belong to. The bigotry is flowing to me and from me.

So Che Guevarra and 2-Pac have lessons to teach. I am seeking mature learning systems that can critically look at their message and learn as much as they can about the people they represent. This desire to understand can lead to respect. Respect might lead people to personal dignity. This personal dignity can lead people to reconciling the histories of being left behind, oppressed, smudged, and exploited. The reconciliation might lead to prosperity for all, not just American's. We might be a world under God, we might one day ask God to bless our enemies, and we might one day realized that faith is written on our hearts not in the pages of scripture. This week is the birth anniversary of two inspirational men in my life, their lessons will be taught and promoted......by me.

Google Song

Today's Google home page lets you record a song by strumming the strings o the google banner.
My first song for today
My second song for the day
My third song of the day (this is addicting)