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Thankful not for Liberty but servitude...

This post is yet another diatribe of my feeble attempt at remaining Catholic.  I have reached a point in my understanding of history, my life, my education, my ideals, my values, and my faith to know that I am Catholic only by a thread.  I am only catholic for those who remain in bondage, for those who still understand so well the idea of suffering.  I am Catholic in a small dose for myself, because I can recognize only in glimpses my own powerlessness.  So this bondage leaves me thankful.  I think the purpose of service has been scapegoated by prosperity.  I am a servant only to be reimbursed.  My deviant oppressions are embarrassing enough for me to understand that grace is all I can hope for. 

Jesus is the only prophet that I have been thoroughly taught about, He is known to me only through cultural bias.  I am thankful for His teaching because knowing of Him, believing His teaching, and doing my best to live in His framework has created in me a humanism that is losing liberty and gaining loyalty to bonded contribution.  I am spoiled by liberty and humbled by faith in being a servant of a mystical trinity.  One inspires me to advance, while the other motivates me bow soulfully.  This tension is held by a thin and delicate thread of faith.  This thanksgiving is a paradoxically an appreciation for healthy contradiction to liberty...servant-hood.