Life is more than what gets done...

I am learning how important it is to recognize those things that don't get done. I could make this post really intimate and explain clearly what this means for me. But simply hinting at the fact that I concentrate so much on what gets done in my daily activities I lose site of those activities that I have dismissed. Try not to apply stigma to dismiss because for me dismiss has a rejecting quality. But I hope you can see dismiss as leading to information and situations that let you encounter without judgment. I am struggling things in my life that aren't getting done and forgetting to be thankful for things that aren't being done anymore.

The philosophy on non-judgement is so merciful. I love myself for my disappointments for the first time in my life. When I let someone down I know it will serve a purpose that will lead to something new in their lives. I have learned to trust that we have the will to take adversity and overcome. I have a foolish belief that if I am failing without malice, then I am living with risk. The next question is to be better aware of unintended malice because intentions don't justify consequences.

So as I think about my life, I tend to remember the things I've done, and have not spent a significant amount of time reflecting on the things I haven't. It doesn't mean that I create a bucket list. I mean that I must be reflective of the void. I don't want this post to be about the regret or hope. I am describing a non-judgmental inventory of the beautiful void, absent, or replaced. I am becoming aware of the faith in knowing I am spiritually contributing to life everywhere despite my energy only being shared in the things that get done.

A generation of change and wellness

I think one of the greatest gifts my parents have given me is their mistakes, so to speak. They aren't even mistakes, but rather experiences interpreted from the eyes of their greatest critic outside themselves...Me! I think because of the progress my parents made in dealing with their parents dysfunction, a generation escaping the depression and racism, I am able to understand my own the idea of awareness, balance, and wellness.

I have grown to believe that my parents look outside themselves for answers versus trusting their own insight. I am capable of critically thinking about my lifestyle for the first time in a few generations. I have the liberty to do what I am passionate about versus having to do what society will allow me to do. I am educated enough to understand how to make healthy lifestyle decisions. I am informed enough to discern propaganda and marketing that does not fit my values and beliefs. I am at liberty to question authority, participate in systems, and invent my own. Because my parents had the courage to survive, scrape, and crawl through their generational dysfunction I have the freedom to be critical, thankful, empowered, impactful and loving.

I am proud of my parent's choices, healthy and unhealthy, because both have helped me make choices today. I belong to a generation that is realizing that convenience served its purpose but is not always the best choice. I see this in the organic trending, dietary innovation, environmental awareness, and the emphasis on sustainability. I recognize that my parents taught me to belong in my communities and this belonging has resulted in my taking ownership of how and which to belong to. The corporate model has grown too large and I am part of a generation that will balance the globalization of economies back into a balanced ecosystem of shared communities, sustainable trends, applied research, and reasonable comfort. I see the change from pursuing convenience at the expense of values to the adjustment of values with the assessment and examination of convenience. I see progress! Yes the cynic is smiling, but not ignoring suffering.

Can we "Alford" it?

We spend money where we don't put our minds.  So it is more like putting our money where our asses are.  I recently watched a talk on education spending (not the one below, a different one).  I recently heard about the bonuses that Steve Alford is piling up as a basketball coach.  I also understand that education seems to be an important arena for Americans.  But is education really a priority, or is basketball the priority.  Steve Alford is a happy contributor to the University of New Mexico.  Does he promote education?  Is he worth his weight in bonuses.  Is paying our coaches the most effective strategy for improving education?

"... more than $625,000 in bonuses even after his base salary and other compensation package pays him more than $1 million ($324,200.04 in base salary, $600,000 in “other compensation” and $100,000 annually in deferred compensation paid into a retirement account)" - Grammer, G; Albuquerque Journal; Jan. 20, 2013 Alford's Bonuses

What would our education system look like if we had the same pay mechanism for teachers as we do for coach's.  What if we gave bonuses for small success that a typical hard working person would consider part of the job.  Steve gets a bonus for winning certain games, seems like this is what his core job objectives might expect.  Do we give bonuses to teachers for teaching in schools that are considered more challenging.  Steve gets a bonus for making sure his team is passing their classes.  Do we pay janitors bonuses for keeping the school reasonably clean.  These appear to be job objectives that might fall under meeting expectations versus going above and beyond.  By the way the man manages a game, not a cancer research team.  He makes a salary that most engineers don't even gross.  He has an opportunity to make more money than our school's president.

Is this unfair?  Depends who you ask.  Personally I think it is a propagation of the Jock vs Nerd paradox.  I think it demonstrates this country's shadow.  I think it reveals our stupidity.  Is Steve Alford the kind of man I would invest in.  From the information I have, I wouldn't go to war with him or for him.  Does he win?  Yes!  Is he effective? Sure, but at what expense and at what consequence.  Two huge unknowns.  Is  he humble?  Is he a man with integrity, patience, commitment, and modesty?  I don't think a man who was would find his coaching role a productive part of the University mission.  He would see himself for what he is, a manager of human resources.  What he is to me is an overpaid exploiter of athletes, in a system designed to ignore the human need to educate all members of society, not just the ones who can "Alford" it.

Is the only way for our students to be interested in our University is to see our school in the NCAA tournament.  Is the best form of marketing to pay one of Bobby Knight's psychological spin offs an insane amount of money.  Is education a priority for this country?  As I watch some of the NCAA tournament I can't help but be frustrated with the economy built around the student athlete. As I see and hear about more and more highly skilled employees being imported than exported I wonder if we as a society really value learning, education, and teaching.  From the looks of it we truly have a preference for coaching, strategy, and entertaining.  We might even be a society addicted to competition with a phobia of intellectualization.

Medal Of Honor Awarded

To the women, on Women's day

You bring us into this world, what a gift.  And our masculine thanks might be felt at times, but mostly I recognize how we forget to be grateful.  Today I am grateful because you have taught me most of the important things I need to know.  
You have taught me how important it is to never give up despite the pain.  You have taught me that education is not power but a strategy to thrive among the power dependent.  You have taught me that love is not found between the legs or in a bra, but in the heart, eyes, and actions.  You have taught me about loneliness and how clinging to you keeps me from becoming a man.  You have taught me to cherish by being so attractive that it hurts not to have you around.  You have taught me how insecure I am by your intelligence, wisdom, resilience, and independence.  You have taught me the importance of adjusting, by refusing to accept my dysfunctional qualities.  You have taught me to pray.  You have taught me how to be a  man, because my desire to be a good man is driven by my desire to be grateful to you.

Please forgive men who have still not recognized how important it is to appreciate what you bring to our lives.  Please forgive me for the marginalizing, my prejudice, and my carelessness displayed by my adolescence.  Please continue to know that your understanding and perspective on life, us men, and our future is critical to the symbiosis of our existence.

Thank you...to name a few:
Francesca
Margaret
Bernadette
Elizabeth
Julie
Josie
Michaela
Carmela
Alyson
Michele
Catalina
Jennifer
Cristina
Stephanie

for being extraordinary women.

Crossfit Games 2013

I have replaced NFL Sundays with Crossfit Games because weekly during the open a WOD (Workout of the Day) will be posted that demonstrate to me how amazing the human body can become.  It also gives me a chance to play the game, measure up, and have some experiential fun. I get to experience what the game is like versus simply watching it on TV...for the most part.  Here are a few of my admired athletes from the Crossfit Games.

Just good men, with healthy minds, bodies, and spirits.  Modern day gladiator comps start today.

Mikko Salo - Firefighter

Chris Spealler - Trainer

Josh Bridges - United States Navy

Endures all

It is always one thing to hear the word endure and believe its possible. It is completely different when I face the discomfort and antagonizing feelings that push me to the point of enduring. My comfort is always a critical component to my decision making and when it comes to pain, I think I like to rationally avoid it. When it comes to love, the philosophy I have aligned with asks me to disregard my comfort and to expand my tolerance for pain. This might include physical and emotional pain. I don't want to be misunderstood in that I am buying into a philosophy that asks me to be irrational. Maybe qualifying pain as reasonable pain and suffering might make it more clear. A healthy self is critical to being a loving person. Learning how I like to be loved has put a spot light on how I love. This has inspired me to really take some risks and investigate through action what it might mean to love in an enduring way.

So far it has meant listening. So far it has meant listening and absorbing messages that help me adjust my habits, reactions, and responses. It has meant change. It has not been without failure or breakdown. Importantly there has been some endurance on the other end as well. Enduring love needs an enduring partner to work, or otherwise I would need to be perfectly enduring on my end. Enduring does not mean love gets received or love is returned. As I grow this naive and young understanding of enduring love I realize that it is all the components of peace seeking. It is not so much "you win", but more like "this is for you, it seems like you need this and I am willing or unwilling to contribute it". There is not a disregard for the healthy narcissistic health. I have found that it is still important to care for myself, otherwise my ability to lovingly endure fails and the ego takes charge and I tend to defend, attack, and withdraw. Enduring love has started out as listening. Listening is helping me learn about what others can say, want me to know, and limits what I distort.

Love endures all, as long as the recipient does not withstand the lovers willingness to love. Being human means I have thresholds and breaking points. My love is capable of perfection, but only God can sustain a perfect love.