Just a laborer

This is my first encounter with feeling inspired to collaborate with a Saint.

“He who works with his hands is a laborer.
He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman.
He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist.”?
-Francis of Assisi

Reading this quote can inspire, then as I realize my own sadness around being seen as labor, and not as often, seen as an artist, it doesn't completely help me feel divine.  But, what I have noticed in my evaluation of people's perceptions through their cultures, privilege, and histories, especially my own obligation or rooted ideas to be seen or identified as a "Mexican-American", "Brown", or "Hispanic", is that I have allowed other's preferences and perceptions to define how I am perceived.

I participate in judging one's work, again especially my own.  I establish my own scales of cost and compensation. I determine my own version of what it is to be labor or art.  That scale is used for me and against me.  I cultivate my competencies and doubts from these determinations.  I internalize my worth, alongside my values, and ultimately my social cost.  I have become a judge of quality and economized human worth.

One concept that Francis left out is that when I judge someone's work to be absent of head or heart or both head and heart, I participate in the historic human neurosis, possibly mental disease of bias, prejudice, and economics.  What does it mean to hold an individual in comparison for what they contribute?  What does it mean to use your head or heart?  Is it fair to suggest that some people choose not to use their head and heart?  I wonder about comparison.  I often find it is the root of jealousy.  It seems natural to see comparison as competition.  We, I, have the need to excel and be more alluring.  It might be our reproductive instinct for desirability.  Are we fulfilling our primal instructions to reproduce?  Does distinction drive us to improve or see ourselves as insufficient?  I have a desire to know where I stand among others.  Does my true self need to know this or is it my insecurity that is seeking this out?  So I see this comparison as toxic and hurtful egoism.  Without disregard or disrespect for separating mundane from enchanting,  I have my contribution to this quote.

My contribution would be subtly different.  Those who see the God in someone's work, without comparison, even when done modestly with their hands is an artist.  Those who see Divinity in the distinct quality that  reveals a person's thoughtfulness is an artist. Those who can see beyond jealousy and grandiosity of an individual who combines their labor with thoughtfulness to reveal their heart is an artist.  Lastly when we can begin to look for the hands, head, and heart in all people's contribution we will be artisans.

I hope that one day we, I, will value the produce picker with the same preference as the gourmet chef.  I am working to see the Crossfit games champion as valuable as the dainty homebody.  I am working to see the nuclear physicists as valuable as the janitor who empties the trash.  I desire a day when the carpenter with blistered hands is valued with same reward as the real estate agent with manicured nails.

I idealize about what life would be like when our knowledge won't have a cost on it, and our labor won't be the measure of our social worth.  Who am I to judge someone's worth, much less their cost?

Maybe a better inquiry would be into how modestly can I provide enchanting contributions in community that I am compensated with resources that will not distance my opportunities to thrive from yours?  Or Can I be an artist without keeping you a laborer?  Are you an artist if only the elite can afford to benefit from your work?

A Reflection on Scripture

Matthew 7:3-5
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

 

The United States is responsible for its own September 11th.  Holding the 9/11 for American grief is not fair.  It interesting to discover that America has many Al Qaeda like episodes in our history.  We may not have conspired in caves but we did conspire.  We may not have believed in democracy that looked or functioned like ours.  We may have encourage dictatorship.  It appears to be likely that Chileans are saddened by America's role in the overthrow of their elected government.  They also might be grieving the death of thousands at the hand of Pinochet, the dictator inserted to lead.  Being a global leader for freedom should not come at the expense of other creative peoples.

I say we, but I really mean is more likely a small group of American business men hoping to keep leverage.  I cannot help but recognize the hypocrisy that my country seems to display.  As more of our past becomes declassified we will recognize our shortcomings. Americans who, like Bin Laden, manipulate with violence to get their way need to be held with compassion.  What kind of life have they lived.  What traumatic experiences have they lived.  What could build a conscience with so much greed, lust, disregard, and disrespect for others and their countries.

We have got to stop fearing communism, socialism, and equality and start learning about it.  We have got to trust that China has and is functioning as a communist state.  Some might argue that it is successfully adapting to modern economics favorably.  So much so that it is the refuge for American corporations.  With a majority of products being made in China, a communist country, how fearful are we of it.  Our dollars do not seem to fear China's communism.  This is not to say that communism is any better or worse than democracy, it is to talk to the fear some American's have for seeing socially oriented governments becoming one.

The speculation that our leaders believe as truth, the belief that socialism is absolutely a gateway to communism is minimizing to the human capacity to change.  It is disrespectful to social innovation and the idea of democratic socialism.  We have tendencies but we do adapt, adjust, and evolve for the greater good.  We have got to be the country that we want to see other countries be.  We are being the country that we fear will be created if we don't threaten every country that governs with risk.  We need to work with countries that we fear versus threatening their individuality and power.  We have to advocate for healthy governments by participating in international laws.  We have to remain seated when discussions are confrontational.  We have got to let dysfunctional countries find their way with guidance and intervention, not violence and punishment.  We have to learn while teaching.

America's fear for what might happen and what profits could be lost seems to motivate our delinquent tendencies.  We have our own September 11th to reconcile, we have our own tyrannical behaviors to correct.  We have our own apologies to make.  We have our own debt to grieving families to carry.  So in recognition of  September 11th for those we attacked and our lost lives, I hope to take the spec from my own eye, before asking my government to remove theirs.

For Passion Income Statements

How can we measure our profit margin for an investment in social innovation.  There isn't one.  What I find is that there is a passion margin.  When you get to the bottom line of an income statement for an organization like common hope, the hope should be for passion.  If we give people an opportunity to dream, we have seen them come alive and share in the unique abilities that all living things have, a passion to grow.

If resources can be shared across productive systems like a health clinic, a library, an early learning center, educational psychology, a family guidance center, clean and safe community facilities, educators, and dreams, we have seen that return on passion keeps growing.  The key market indicators are not in dollars, but graduation rates, teen sexual patience rates, drop in rates, preventative health care usage, and economic stability rates.  

When we walked around the barrios of Guatemala we were greeted almost every time.  We were acknowledged with every passing, we were treated to connection, only briefly but consistently.  The scariest folks in Guatemala were not the ragged and impoverished looking people, it was the unknown.  The fear of the consequences and desperation that can come from economic poverty.  There is a quiet and humble tranquility that flows through the streets of Guatemala. That is a natural resource that has been suppressed, disrupted, and barried in classism.

There is conflict and politics like in every system.  It is not capitalism that destroyed this region.  I doubt communism could create less suffering.  I do think the fear of equality keeps others from sharing.  It might be greed and corruption that feeds the fear of equality.  There is a term I rarely hear used in social systems, stingy.  There are cultures that are stingy in the human race.  Those who are stingy have not been loved enough to know that sharing often results in bounty.  

Sharing is not an economically sound strategy for gaining power, and sharing power is rarely admired. I could not have dreamed up this opportunity had I not been able to trust that I could share responsibility with this team.  And now, we share in the bounty.  We look at each other and realize we have extended our family.  We have drilled for love and found it.  We have mined for passion and are exporting it.  We found a compassion forrest and are harvesting its fruit.  We have finalized our sharing statements and have your return on investment, our passion margin.  Our dividends are as high as ever, in the currency of gratitude.  You are valued!

Buen Provecho,

Ron

The Body is only as intelligent as its stupidest cell...

Don't be that stupid cell....Haaaaaaaa
Interesting look at how we are adjusting to the lack of resources and lack of common sense when it comes to sustainability.  It seems ignorant to me to continue to support communities that inefficiently stretch and waste natural resources to satisfy a lifestyle of tomfoolery.  Las Vegas demonstrates the not so brilliance of "America the great".



This demonstrates that not only do we as individuals refuse to see our blemishes and self destruction but we then contribute to a societal influence that chooses to ignore the observations and reflections that indicate our world is changing in concerning ways. We are even arguing that it doesn't mean anything.  Is it being irresponsible or a worry wart?  Keep the mirrors in all forms up and around that way we'll learn to look at ourselves in many conditions, perspectives, and angles. We may not care what we do to ourselves but I have begun to consider what I leave for my grandchildren and even worry what my children will need to adjust to.

Triage

In the software industry there is a balance between innovation and maintenance. This healthy balance allows the industry to both sustain and grow. The risk for future health is found in the risk a group is willing to make in spending time in innovative research or the maintenance of health. I find a gap in how we see cultural systems. Unfortunately cultural systems are not evidently profitable like software is. So cultural systems appear to be unworthy of innovation or investment. When a cultural system is broken or buggy, few in society are willing to investigate the source code. Many prefer swapping or outsourcing cultural systems.

So what does this do to the broken cultural system? In software a buggy system can be addressed in a spectrum of ways from by being rewritten all the way to being retired. There is intentionality to fix a system that is influenced by profitability. Our value for human systems is not as dualistic or motivating as our monetary profits. With human systems retirement is shamed, but attempted in the evidence of genocide. In software buggy is identifiable, but in human systems I have come to understand buggy as subjective. Or possibly I am refusing to see in the computing world that there are often systems design for broken processes. In may human systems I see how the system is functional and productive but is expected to function in a broken process. Our indigenous cultures represent these functional and productive systems. The broken processes I see as the consumer mentality, the convenience hoarding, and the power dependence.

As a potential professional in the helping arena I am worried that the incentive that we are pursuing is simply triage.

No you are not right, but yes you are not wrong

In today's economic struggle we see the unfortunate consequence of materialism and a desire for sustained growth. I see it in my longing for convenience. I see it as the theory of exponential growth. Can life be entirely about constant convenience? Our business schools preach efficiency leading to profit, our politicians preach simplicity and function with complexity, and most American lifestyles are motivated by prosperity. Efficiency, simplicity, and prosperity are all qualities of convenience. We are destined to prove that we can continually improve.

I call this reaching for perfection.......Godliness. I might not be fair in saying this. It is probably more a projection of my own personal desires. I think the intellectual wants to prove God false, the scientist wants to know Gods secrets, the athlete wants to prove himself immortal, the romantic wants to prove herself all desirable, the jefe wants infinite worth, and we "all" want bliss.

Convenience is how I exploit God’s gifts of intelligence, emotion, and senses. I am now recognizing the importance of inefficiency in the paradoxical system I call nature. In destruction there is prosperity. Between two polarities there lies reality and construction and destruction....feast and famine....invention and robbery...cultivation and pruning.

Loosing connections to pain

Has tradition been replace by dogma, a hierarchy of needs, or something between? I see how many Americans, including myself, have had to leave their birth cities, their connection to their past, or their connection to their pain. I assume the top reasons for the migration is to find work, better pay, explore, or follow family. Many Americans are adopting a tradition of moving away. I too, felt this was the thing to do. I see now that it disconnects me from learning the history, struggles, and lessons learned from my great uncles, grandparents, and community elders. I see how it deteriorates a family's bond. I see how it corrodes the connection from the pains of the past. It is that source of familial pain, that I see as necessary for me to go beyond the dogma of tradition.

I can see how I learned to be mistrusting. I know now where my anger came from. I can see that my families traditions are being altered, by me and life. I see clearer that I have become independent with hypocritical dependencies. I must risk trusting that things will be alright, knowing I say this often. I feel alright one day and tossed in despair the next. I must trust that I can survive and thrive in any phase, democracy, or climate.....foolishly .... with God's grace.

I think I am aware that I need comfort to be happy. I think as I harden as a man I will be less dependent on laws, conveniences, and luxuries for my content. I might even consider suffering a joyful understanding of the paradox that gives way to death. It is getting too easy to point out hypocrisy in our American politics. It is getting too discouraging when my peers can't recognize it. Or maybe I am just on a fools journey and the joke is on me.

Today as a radical Catholic, a radical believer in Jesus Christ, and a revolutionary wannabe, I see my ego at work and my senses remind me I am only a man, no more, no less.

Internal politics

Around the country I see a desire for exploiting resources, gas, oil, minerals, forest, addiction, and sickness. I see a desire for deregulation believing this will solve economic crisis. I see a desire for limited collective power and the elimination of unions. I see a desire for traditionalism and fear of moral chaos. I see admiration for self struggle. I see pride in innovation, capitalism, and free-markets. I see an upper middle class arrogantly cheer how possible it is to achieve. I see an elite group of resource hogs talk about how sensible capitalism can be. I recognize me.

I see......how wrapped up I am in my own fear of being alone, experiencing pain, and having pure freedom. I understand you, conservative. You are in me. I remember believing that all I had to do was work hard, get up early, stay late, and put in work. I remember thriving in this individual effort to get me closer to wealth, which I believed would make me, my family, and my community better. Well unfortunately, conservative, you're truths for me are incomplete.

I belong to a community of spiritual people who have instilled in me a respect for community, a commun-ism, no not the communism that makes you cringe like a little lamb, but the commun-ism that teaches me to incorporate cosmos, earth, water, enemies, sick, and foreigner. My commun-ism looks on you with pity, compassion, and empathy. I belong to a community of wise, simpleminded, and rooted people. But conservative in me, don't be afraid, I need you just as much as you despise me.

You have taught me how to push myself beyond the limits my weak body believes it can go. You have instilled a fire in me that motivates me to improve. You slap me in the ass when I am scared, tired, or frozen. You help me to clench my fists. You taught me how to function when alone. You gave the courage to embrace the darkness on my own. So conservative in me, when you have beaten me down, I will be ready once again to join back with you to seek the truth.

Individualism

I think individualism is the most convenient theory I have come across, but it is at the same time only infallible in fiction. It is straight forward and responsible. It is a very objective understanding of reality, which for me doesn't jive. It is a great tool for pointing out how dependent others are on a systems, organizations, or belonging institutions. It rarely reveals the importance of dependence or acknowledges the value in help. What it doesn't account very well for is dealing with the consequences when people aren't being "responsible" individuals. We are a species that is dependent on our senses and responding to others. We are also an impulsive group of beings. Reality is not very objective for me, and I find it impossible to see how the world can be so clear cut for others.

In society we have institutions that deal with the consequences of those who are struggling to contribute to society in healthy ways. There are governmental and private systems that serve these populations. In most cases these are passionate people who believe in helping. It is a very devalued way to earn a living. But these people organize and collectively contribute to helping those who live in the reality that life is not a simple series of objective decisions that lead to accountability and healthy outcomes. I am happy for those people who have the fortunate communities that reflect a belief that they are being successful "individuals". I am discouraged when self centeredness is called being a good individual. The line in-between is thin and how you perceive it is extremely "subjective". I don't devalue my individuality but I aspire to live interconnected.

American Refugee

I'm not all bitter, though at times, I realize I move so furiously through my oppressed thoughts that I forget to remind myself of beautiful aspects to the human struggle and search for fulfillment. I think about the people my family has marginalized, discriminated against, or refused to have compassion for. I think about how I am judgmental, attached to materiality, impatient with ignorance, and hostile towards arrogance. I think about how easy it is to choose sides, knowing that choosing sides is my own laziness in understanding the other side, or as Jesus describes as enemy.

I long for a day when people actually value what they say and fulfill it with what they do. I guess I long for a day when I can move towards living my philosophies. I long for a day when taxes aren't needed because we no longer mistrust it as a tax but see it as charity. I also wait for day when capital gains are measure by how low our global poverty rate is. I desire a day when we give Javier the plasterer as much respect as Joe the plumber, by not calling him illegal, but collaborator. I value a day when we actually hold corporations accountable not only with dividends but by best practices, a day when their morningstar rating includes morality criteria. I wait for a day when the stereotypical Mr. Jones realizes he doesn't need to fence in 35 acres to feel like a man. I wait for a day when the stereotypical Carlos can wake up and have enough love in his heart to smile at the vato across the street versus sizing him up. This in a nutshell is me. All my judgments are small indicators for who I am, have been, and long to be.

There are American refugees who are bringing communal skills to this region as well. There are non New Mexican people who are equally longing for equality, freedom, and justice. There are a groups of American immigrants who bring life to our communities, invest in its people, need only what can be used, and profit only from connections. There are American immigrants who use as much if not less than they contribute back into the community. I am proud to know American immigrants who inspire me to live by dissipating Chicano qualities. This is proof that Chicano qualities are not native to the mestizo people of this region. The human qualities like compassion, altruism, simplicity, consideration and community are shared in every healthy community. I think the beauty about a healthy culture is that it can collaborate with other cultures, as long as there is reciprocity, as long as one culture doesn't need to win, lead, know, overpower, or control.

These American immigrants bring with them skills that are....I can only describe them as being...divine skills. These people have taught me how to feel my anger, hatred, and prejudice, without becoming it. A few are listed below:

Norbertine Community
Center for Action and Contemplation
Peace and Justice Center
Attachment Healing Center
Animas Valley Institute
New Mexico Parent & Child Resources, Inc.

As a Chicano, my grip on my history, ignorance, violence, struggle, and tradition is loosening. I see how a lot of American immigrants long for connection back to their ancestors, like true refugees.



"In this bright future you can't forget your past" -Bob Marley

What does our Country think of us?

New Mexico has a rich history of culture, simplicity, and sustainability. We have immigrant cultures who have brought education, technology, government, and an art culture that we are marginally benefitting from.

Photographer John Collier Jr.

Why was this desert region a refuge for the American immigrant. The American immigrant refuses to see themselves as a foreigner, exploitative, profiteering, and impossing. As I have learned, which may be inaccurate but willing to be corrected, many easterners came to escape the onset of Tuberculosis. Our climate was convenient for recovery and lifestyle. With them came their culture and imposed value systems.

My Grandma and Grandpa remember a couple of these families, thier names are Simms and Dietz both immigrants with plenty of wealth and education to exploit a dusty Spanish artifact. Symbolically a message of "you reap, what you sow", for a people who once exploited a wild native region of indigenous peoples. John Simms' family later went on to have sons who prospered in this state, enough to become a representative and governor. They weren't illegal by their definition, but alien by my definition. The Dietz family is also immigrant to this region. Both of these men were lucrative land owners. They contributed to the discriminatory white (not white indicating race, rather what society sees as legal) markets called government, brokering, and banking. Both my Grandparent's families worked for these families, during the depression era. My Grandparents, as humble as they are, appreciated the opportunity to work their land, nurse their children, and prepare their meals. I on the other hand, I despise their laziness to be gluttonous enough to need servants to manage their material stockpiles. They were welfare gluttons, using their intelligence to manipulate the best business strategies, buy low and produce high. I am still learning what these families did for a living, all their children attended college and am not sure if they served in the war. I know they paid my grandparents families well enough to feel grateful. I see the payment as the distraction needed for these immigrants to sink their fangs into a culture, and start the feeding process. I will seek to see the compassionate perspective just not yet.

Around the time when these families had settled in and made themselves at home, the government needed a place to experiment. They needed a wasteland, a useless testing area to blow things up. They needed a target range. Well, what better place than that barren state with those Spanish speaking Catholics. What have they got to lose. So as we have all learned and been taught to admire, the nuclear age was born here. We were the first place to have been nuclear bombed. This is reflective of what America thinks of us. This continues today, as we suck on the tit of the energy department, continuing to develop and harvest weapons of mass destruction, unwilling to recognize our real capabilities. This has resulted in defense and energy contracted corporations imposing more capitalistic movidas, under the disguise of laboratories and research facilities, called Sandia (watermelon) Laboratories and Los Alamos (cottonwood) Laboratories. For years we only entered these facilities as groundskeepers, janitors, and mules. As, we, the youth, have been educated, we have become the modern house slaves, excited that we can wear a badge and enter their gated areas.

Around the early 90's the government again needed a place to experiment. This time it was with their garbage. Not your normal everyday garbage, but the worst kind, nuclear waste. I think about where I keep my garbage, then I realize awe this is what Gringo politicians think of my region. This region is that stinky part of the city where no one will care if we leave our garbage. Again we have been taught to feel honored, as a place, respected enough to hold Americas shit. The American immigrant explains to us ignorant and powerless pendejos, "Be happy, It brings jobs!"

So my understanding of New Mexico's participation in America is understood through this lense. It is through this lense that I formulate an understanding for what immigration means. It is through this lense that I ask myself to see the benefits of this immigrant culture. It is through this lense that I wonder how our privileged educational institutions isolate themselves from the deterioration found in barrios and reservations. I am beginning to understand how these privileged institutions can have such a unique perspective on acceptance with an aptitude and a knack for success.

Roark, Kelly.(2011). Natures Sanitarium: Getting Well in New Mexico. New Mexico State Record Center and Archives

Los Batallones Perdido

Artwork by David Gonzales

As I contemplate why my community of young comaradas have chosen a life committed to self hatred and animosity, brandishing itself in gangs and cage fighting, I realize the warrior spirit is aimless. We live in a country that reminds us everyday that we are visitors in our own homes. We are told that we are a government of the people, by the people, and for the people, but are shown that "the people" is a very selective term. We are taught to learn a gringo way and rarely asked to contribute the Chicano way. We have so many Chicano warriors willing to die for their beliefs, barrios, cartelas, and camaradas. This warrior spirit is aimless.

Where are our veteranos? Donde esta el buen hombre? He is hidden in the loyalty of the bad ass, also the mentality of being chingon. He is hidden in the commitment to an ideology that muerte is a consequence of working hard, as it is said on the streets, "its only business". Our wall street can be found in the gringo prisons where, markets are brokered, drug markets established, respect dividends are paid, and market leverage is assassinated. It is also the same place where you'll find our cultural supreme courts. It is in the state prisons where the judges that hold our indigenous oaths to justice, hold court. It is where death sentences are handed down from adopted judges, called mafiosos, the elite, the remenance of the Aztec and Mayan warrior spirit, confined to the shadows and dungeons left to believe he is criminal, internalizing it, forgetting that he also has the greatness of God stored deep inside his oppressed and defeated mind, body, and spirit. Our engineers are also found in prisons. We have innovative people who continue to bank roll million dollar spending accounts, while imprisoned, finding ways to use our Chicano internet, as seen in a young woman tucking drogas into her vaginal cavity later to be un-packaged, distributed, marketed, and sold for profit. This is supply chain management, no different from the gringo pharmaceuticals. The only difference is the birth canal from which the the drugs are conceived. I have witnessed 13 year old boys create lighters from a paper clip and batteries to light their marijuana cigarettes, then punished, instead of rewarded for their ingenuity, yet a man named Nobel, inspires a weapon that kills millions and they name a peace prize after him. Our warrior spirit is aimless.

We have artist, called graffiti vandals who take pride in their placa. This is the urban art warrior who can't afford a canvas, sketchbook, or more importantly needs to. Yet we allow marketers to post half naked women on our free ways in the form of advertising. We allow a man named Heffner his freedom to objectify woman, the Marlboro man to propagate the deception of smoking, we allow Captain Morgan the opportunity to convince us that all we need is a little liquid courage. Yet we call graffiti vandalism. If these young urban warriors were allowed the time to create, their work wouldn't be rushed and slapped on walls. It might me passionate, mindful, and respectable, as they would be respected. Our warrior spirit is aimless.


"Teach the ignorant as much as you can; society is culpable in not providing a free education for all and it must answer for the night which it produces. If the soul is left in darkness sins will be committed. The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but he who causes the darkness."
— Victor Hugo (Les Misérables)

Smoothing Out the Angst...

I left facebook for three reasons.
1) The superficiality of being virtually connected, and the false sense of belonging that it created in me
2) The idea behind Facebook going public to harvest peoples interests and supply marketing and industry exploiters with the necessary information to propagate their consuming mentality and culture
3) I feel the depth I am willing to share with my friends is not reciprocated in the form of vulnerability, interest, and passion. I was discouraged by the lack of depth and connection people are willing to achieve with Facebook. As if we as a community are unwilling to be our embarrassing selves by conforming and at the expense of what mainstream media finds attractive, chingon, or worthy.

I retreated because I don't by into it. I am embarrassing, and I am proud to say stupid shit every now and again. I know I am offensive. I also know I am loving, kind, thoughtful, and my intentions are not only to let my daughters know who I am, but now to also let you know who I am. I wish the same anxiety for everyone of you because some collective instinct tells me we share in this existential crisis. I am glad to see all your shining faces, but please don't be afraid to share your deeper faces.

I am returning to the point where I can have perspective. I am a recovering cynic, and daily I have to remind myself that there is so much good in the world that despite what I hear, see, and worry about, life has a way of self correcting. I have a feeling of acceptance this week . I am accepting the fact that people change but not on the account of others reactions, arguments, or discoveries.

I changed because of an internal and intrinsic alchemy. What has been produced is a vision for comparison. I no longer am attached to my ideas but to the understanding that all ideas are worthy of understanding, not necessarily belief, but surely understanding. In this view of "understanding all ideas", I still account for health, truth, and validity. This is achieved by effort in understanding, in me, for me, and of me. I can only then integrate ideas that withstand the test of health, truth, and validity. Otherwise I am left conspiring and mistrusting the unknown.