Music and More

Fuck...hear her ROAR!

I have two daughters who I think about daily, interact with as often as I can, criticize more than I would like, I don't hold enough, but I have told them I love them and that they are beautiful despite my ugliness. Mother's day passed but everyday is women's day. This is intense and raw. Hats off to the courage necessary to express herself in such a profound way. Even as a man I can appreciate the hardship and it will help me amplify a dignified perspective on culture.

A brief inspired encounter with self


I am working on getting back to spiritual currencies as the core economy for my life.  What this means in English is that I am finding my way out of consumerism, egoism, and elitism, in favor of genuine tradition, communication, and symbiosis.  I come from communities that are addicted, depressed, and violent.  I have been fortunate to recognize those traits and characteristics ongoing in my life, culture, and community, inspiring me to redirect my education, skills, and talents toward healing the wounded parts of my internal and social connections.  I am learning to go where accident alters me, coincidence leads, and hope pulls me.  I am a divorce father of 2 daughters who is functioning with a prosthetic heart.  A recovering competitor.  An aspiring counselor.  And lastly a critical thinker.

Its Friday!



If your fire is low....look for love...maybe even within

The Body is only as intelligent as its stupidest cell...

Don't be that stupid cell....Haaaaaaaa
Interesting look at how we are adjusting to the lack of resources and lack of common sense when it comes to sustainability.  It seems ignorant to me to continue to support communities that inefficiently stretch and waste natural resources to satisfy a lifestyle of tomfoolery.  Las Vegas demonstrates the not so brilliance of "America the great".



This demonstrates that not only do we as individuals refuse to see our blemishes and self destruction but we then contribute to a societal influence that chooses to ignore the observations and reflections that indicate our world is changing in concerning ways. We are even arguing that it doesn't mean anything.  Is it being irresponsible or a worry wart?  Keep the mirrors in all forms up and around that way we'll learn to look at ourselves in many conditions, perspectives, and angles. We may not care what we do to ourselves but I have begun to consider what I leave for my grandchildren and even worry what my children will need to adjust to.

My Greatest Mistake...

My greatest mistake has been being afraid to believe in me.  For the bird this translates to being afraid to fly.  For the earthworm is means being afraid to dig.  For the, for the monkey it means being afraid to swing.  For the horse it means being afraid to gallop.  For the lion it means being afraid to roar.  For the whale it means being afraid to surface.  For the ant it means being afraid to roam.

My greatest mistake has been harnessing the yolk of fear, pulling the load of "might have beens".  I have made doubt a friend.  Wasting breaths on words of privacy, sharing secrets about escaping during the night, through that open window in the back room, with all the storage boxes.  Storage boxes, dusty, making a latter to the grungy window never wiped clean, with mildew of disrespect, clouding my view of what could be, but also feeding my imagination with thoughts of monsters and men waiting to strike me down.  Doubt always seems to call to me just moments before dawn, with that comforting voice, with breath that smells, warm, like honey and cinnamon.

My greatest mistake is keeping my head down when greatness came by to shake my hand.  Believing I was so different from greatness has haunted us.  Yeah, greatness and I, we are longing for each other but I don't have the courage to look up and be what greatness understands I'd like to be.  I am the greatest thing that happened to me, and in my doubt for what I couldn't do, I have learned to learn that my tethered and fearful self is greatness.  My fear is beautiful.  I am a caged bird no less satisfied than that bird soaring free.  Fear is my companion, and shyness is my audience.  My greatest mistake is not understanding my mistakes make me the greatest, sooner.

-Ron Estrada

Corprate Convenience

When we think of taxes, we think of individual taxes, but we quickly forget the corporations are asked to pay taxes on their profits.  It is patriotic to make shit in America, but not convenient to pay taxes on profits made from business completed in America.  Patriotism is not good business, but it is good rhetoric.   We are not broke, just padding our corporate bottom lines.  Investigate your favorite corporations and see how much taxes they pay or not.

Six Rigged Rules Corporations Use to Dodge Taxes | The Nation

Recovery

Recovery, is something I've been experiencing over the last several months.  Regaining what has been lost, getting back to a condition of health, and patiently letting go of regret for what will never be again.  Recovery is hard.  It has been a test of my will that never really gets used.  Its the part of my will that might be described like resistance training.  The actions I take that have helped me into recovery are the patience to do nothing.  That is difficult for me.  This has led me into the realm of being helped.

I am recovering both in spirit and health.  I have grown addicted to sacrifice and justice.  I have depended on exercise to relieve stress and build self concept.  Both of these have escaped me in some form.  My shoulder has been injured due to overuse and lack of care.  My prayer life has suffered from a loss of sympathy for injustice.  My ability to admire sacrifice has suffered from the growth of my optimism.  I have felt detached, restless, and somewhat carefree with my prayers.  I have grown irritable with my fitness.  Not being able to exhaust myself has brought me to point of laziness.  I am physically discouraged.  I still run, swim, and bike but I am humbled by my perceived loss of strength and power.  My inner soldier is worried about never finding our way back to the intensity and efficiency.  I am recovering!

I have some soul recovery to talk about soon, but when in recovery, it is said to take my time and make small progressions.  Peace and improvement find me!  Passion keep your eyes on me.

Delinquent Mind


The delinquent mind has to be one of the most influential minds in existence. These are the minds that have been neglected by norms, mistreated by convenience, and ignored by efficiency. I have come appreciate the delinquent mind as much as I appreciate the savant mind. The delinquent mind is equally as creative as the savant. We have many new technologies that have been created to adapt to the delinquent mind. The delinquent mind is as efficient in finding shortcuts as the savant mind. The delinquent mind does not fall into the category of common. Often the delinquent mind is left in dismal conditions and molded by misfortune and mayhem. The processes that most people participate in as children like breakfast, school, recess, afternoon snack, leisure activities, dinner, and bedtime don't include the delinquent mind. The delinquent mind is reared in chaos, surprise, and instability. Comfort is not common to the delinquent mind. I think the delinquent mind is restless in acceptance, peace, and uniformity. The delinquent mind is misunderstood and never clear in its message, deliberately mistrusting anyone and most, weeding out those who's intentions are to sabotage the comfort found in being different. The delinquent mind holds part of the truth. The delinquent mind is the consciousness that helps each of us deal with shitty aspect of ourselves and others. The delinquent mind is the willing part of us to die and feel pain. The delinquent mind is the reckless creativity that allows us to go beyond what is seen as rational. The delinquent mind hides behind our shadow, waiting to be punished, and likely the last part of ourselves to be loved.